Anger
When rage fills your mind and fuels your body, it's hard to find any sort of peace. From people who are morally wrong to feeling mistreated, it comes from so many places, but all we can do is feel it and learn from it.
Not Me
Why does my anger feel bigger than me
When I am not the problem
It feels as if it will encompass me whole
As my hands shake
As my mind plays over words I want to say
But it's not me
This anger is not me
I am rational
I am understanding
Maybe my hands shake
Because the situation was simply intense
These words play over in my head
Because I wish it was different
But I will not let what I mistake
To be anger
Taint the good of my character
I am better
Than those who wish to test it
Good People
Why is it that good people
Are always taken advantage of?
Are they too kind,
Too understanding,
That you feel you can treat them
As a mere rung under your boot.
Do they make you feel superior?
Because you have a harder heart
Believe you had a tougher life.
Or do they disturb your peace
With their effortless tranquility
Do they remind you of your insecurities—
Of who you wanted to be
Of the purity that was once you.
But what you fail to see—
What you are reluctant to wonder
Is that maybe they are kind to others
Because no one was to them.
Maybe their past is not as carefree
As you so desperately want it to be.
Maybe they stick around
Not because they imagine
But because they know.
Maybe they are trying to be
The exact opposite of what hurt them,
The change they wish to see.
But you won’t entertain these ideas
Because it wouldn’t justify your actions,
Wouldn’t give you a reason
To curse them angrily
When they finally decide to leave.
Not You
How I aimed to please
To make the sorrow fade temporarily
So wishful was I, foolish hope and innocence
Now hopelessness turns to anger
Now innocence is forgotten
I’ve learned from you what not to do
I’ve learned from you who not to be
My lovers would not bare your qualities
My children would not know the neglect
The false pretenses, broken promises
I will not have others question me
My feelings, ambitions, relationships
I will be bold with my love
I will seek help for my sorrow
I will not repeat you
Temporary Fix
When will it stop?
When will you realize
This is not ‘sometimes’
This is not ‘unlucky’
It is constant
It is consequence.
You will swallow us all whole
Taking our patience,
Our understanding,
Our humility
Simply because you can’t get enough
Of this damn temporary fix.
But what will you do
When we are the ones who need fixing
When the damage is permanent
When there is no one left to answer your calls.
Will you really only realize
When you have exhausted all resources?
Apathy
Is apathy neglect
When tragedy strikes
And yet I can't bear to find it in myself
To cry for you
Is apathy protection
When I realized I was a replacement
For all the love you never received
A drain for all your tears
Am I cruel
For not wanting to be
Your sole supporter
Am I tainted
By the effects of your past actions
Am I selfish
For wanting to keep my peace
Am I scared
Of falling into bad habits again
I am bound to you
But I no longer know where I am