Growth

It's a learning curve going through life. You take something from every experience, every person, every emotion that comes to you and you learn how to grow from it.

Not You

How I aimed to please

To make the sorrow fade temporarily

So wishful was I, foolish hope and innocence

Now hopelessness turns to anger

Now innocence is forgotten

I’ve learned from you what not to do

I’ve learned from you who not to be

My lovers would not bare your qualities

My children would not know the neglect

The false pretenses, broken promises

I will not have others question me

My feelings, ambitions, relationships

I will be bold with my love

I will seek help for my sorrow

I will not repeat you

Not Me

Why does my anger feel bigger than me

When I am not the problem

It feels as if it will encompass me whole

As my hands shake

As my mind plays over words I want to say

But it's not me

This anger is not me

I am rational

I am understanding

Maybe my hands shake

Because the situation was simply intense

These words play over in my head

Because I wish it was different

But I will not let what I mistake

To be anger

Taint the good of my character

I am better

Than those who wish to test it

Effort in Vain

There came a time

When I finally began to realize

This was not a mutual effort

When I finally looked

Where our hands were

Once desperately grasped

I found that you had let go

And I was the only one

Still holding on

And when I released my grip

I rose, rather than fell

And I was angry at myself

As the distance grew greater

Wondering how I once thought

This illusion of commitment

Was anything

But suffocating chaos

Break the Cycle

Break the cycle

Though it may not be easy

Break the cycle

For the sake of humility

Prevent harm

From future genererations

Better yourself

For your own salvation

Take the leap

By pursuing self-interest

Redefine yourself

This unexplored happiness

Not Your Fault

It's not your fault–

This unnecessary weight

Of displaced responsibilities

Was never yours to bear.

Maturing before graduating,

Parenting children older than you.

It’s not your job to work

For the sake of others

With the profit of a delayed breakdown.

You learned self-hate and helplessness

Before love and compassion.

It’s not your fault

You find it hard to believe

You are as strong as the pain you hold

And as capable as you will yourself to be.

You are not meant to fix history

You are here to write the future